American Country Countdown is ridiculous. Kix Brooks is such a bad host that it's comical. But three Christmas-related things from today's show are noteworthy:
Carrie Underwood's version of "Do You Hear What I Hear?" is beautiful, as you'd expect it to be. I love religious Christmas carols. The secular ones can bite it. There's something about the passion in the religious ones that really hits me. And Underwood is wise not to screw too much with the formula here. It's not some novel interpretation; it's straight-forward and respectful. It's very nice.
On the other hand, Taylor Swift's "Last Christmas" is unnecessary, at best. It's a fluffy song to begin with, but I always leave it when the Wham! version comes on the radio. Her version is just... oh, I just hate her so much. Enough said.
Finally, a listener wrote into the show to talk about his passion for Christmas music. He writes, "Very few songs make it into my top 10 best Christmas songs of all time." Um, right. Just a guess here, but I'm thinking you have EXACTLY 10 on that list. So, yes. Very few. SHUT UP, STUPID PEOPLE.
Sunday, December 23, 2007
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Chart detail Dec. 29 issue
This new chart sees, unsurprisingly, Taylor Swift and Josh Turner hold down the top 2 positions (respectively). I'm thinking Turner's probably going to have to settle for #2, as I'm getting the feeling that Ms. Swift will be there awhile. (Bah.)
George Strait regains a bullet and moves up to #3 but probably won't add to his record-holding tally of #1 hits. (He's up to 42 now, despite the fact that one of his greatest hits collections is entitled "50 #1 Hits".) Keith Urban continues to creep up slowly, this week to #8, but this song doesn't seem destined for #1, either. Meanwhile, any of the other big hits in the top 10 seem like future candidates. Brad Paisley and Gary Allan enter the top 10 this week. Allan's record had been slow-and-steady and is now charging up more quickly, having moved 17-13-10 in the past few weeks.
Meanwhile, "Don't Blink" by Kenny Chesney is still in the top 10, while his new funky "Shiftwork" charges up 34-25. I'm surprised it's that low, still, but I'm thinking there's a future #1 there, potentially.
Positions #11-25 are, as is the norm, slow going, and a bit hard to call. Records by Blake Shelton, Eagles, and Jason Aldean all have bullets after having gained and lost them over the past few weeks, so I'm less hopeful about these songs' chances in the top 10. Tim McGraw's "Suspicions" cover has moved 37-27-22, putting that on the fast track for the top 10. Finally, Chris Cagle's "What Kinda Gone", the oldest record between #11 and #25 is still slowly creeping up but seems to be gaining steam. I'm hoping it's a sleeper hit of the new year, because it really does get better on repeated listenings.
George Strait regains a bullet and moves up to #3 but probably won't add to his record-holding tally of #1 hits. (He's up to 42 now, despite the fact that one of his greatest hits collections is entitled "50 #1 Hits".) Keith Urban continues to creep up slowly, this week to #8, but this song doesn't seem destined for #1, either. Meanwhile, any of the other big hits in the top 10 seem like future candidates. Brad Paisley and Gary Allan enter the top 10 this week. Allan's record had been slow-and-steady and is now charging up more quickly, having moved 17-13-10 in the past few weeks.
Meanwhile, "Don't Blink" by Kenny Chesney is still in the top 10, while his new funky "Shiftwork" charges up 34-25. I'm surprised it's that low, still, but I'm thinking there's a future #1 there, potentially.
Positions #11-25 are, as is the norm, slow going, and a bit hard to call. Records by Blake Shelton, Eagles, and Jason Aldean all have bullets after having gained and lost them over the past few weeks, so I'm less hopeful about these songs' chances in the top 10. Tim McGraw's "Suspicions" cover has moved 37-27-22, putting that on the fast track for the top 10. Finally, Chris Cagle's "What Kinda Gone", the oldest record between #11 and #25 is still slowly creeping up but seems to be gaining steam. I'm hoping it's a sleeper hit of the new year, because it really does get better on repeated listenings.
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
Highlights from 2007
In no particular order, these are the songs that appealed to me the most, for whatever reason. (This is, for the most part, not counting songs that are still on their way up the Billboard charts currently.)
"Long Trip Alone" by Dierks Bentley. I really like Dierks Bentley, and this is so far my favorite track from his most recent CD. There's a loneliness in his very voice that makes a perfect match for the words and the pacing (although the video confuses me). Richly deserving of the Grammy nominations it's getting.
"More Than A Memory" by Garth Brooks. I'm going to come right out and say it: I am not Garth Brooks's biggest fan. Nevertheless, this song is haunting, and it's really something to which I think most of us can relate. Radio stations agreed, making it the only song ever to debut at #1 on Billboard's country singles chart, a near-impossible feat, considering the chart is determined entirely on radio airplay. It might not be the best recording of the year, but it was well worth waiting for.
"Good Directions" by Billy Currington. I'm glad there was no video for this song (that I know of), because it really would have been distracting from the fun and vivid picture that the lyrics tell. I seriously always want to throw my hat when I hear "I threw my hat and thought, 'You fool', this could've been love". Currington is really good at being both sultry and playful. Thank God for turnip greens, indeed.
Anything by Pat Green. How Pat Green has eluded having a top 10 hit since "Wave On Wave" is one of the world's greatest mysteries. Between "Dixie Lullaby" and "Way Back Texas," he does heartland in a refreshing way that seems earnest without seeming forced. "Show, don't tell" is a motto that serves a lot of folks in the arts, and when Green sings, I believe it.
Anything by Jack Ingram. Maybe it's just the Texas sound (see Pat Green, above), but Jack Ingram also rings true. His voice and style are also appealing and are almost equally rock and country. When I first heard last year's #1 hit "Wherever You Are," I found myself wondering exactly how country it was, actually. Indeed, his hit from the first half of this year, "Lips Of An Angel", was also done by the rock group Hinder, and it's a strong song lyrically. (Ingram's version sounds much more meaningful.) I didn't like "Measure Of A Man" when I first heard it, but upon repeated plays, I have come to appreciate it much more, the reunion of an estranged father and son, poignant and bittersweet. Ingram is one to continue to watch.
"High Maintenance Woman" by Toby Keith. Toby is a man of many faces, but his silly face is one of his most appealing. Upon seeing the title for the first time, I felt a bit of pre-emptive dread, but once I learned that the hook of the song was "A high maintenance woman don't want no maintenance man," I was sold. I also like the meaningless noises he puts in, like the "hup!" at the beginning and the "nawwwwww" at the very end. That "nawwwwww" is possibly my favorite thing to sing along to these days.
"Missing You" by Alison Krauss/John Waite. Well, it's sort of extraneous, this recording, but it's still a pleasant listen. I mean, when is it unpleasant to hear Krauss's voice? At the very least, it reminds you what a nice song it is. It really should've been a bigger hit.
"Famous In A Small Town" by Miranda Lambert. Ain't it the truth. Someone else who knows how to talk about the boondocks without it sounding fake. Her voice, almost sour, almost tart, slides over this song with her characteristic energy. Yeah, she's a young thing, but she knows what she's doing, for sure. (As I pointed out before -- take note, Taylor Swift.) What's neat is the song's slow start and gradual build, and both the music and the lyrics follow this pattern. It's just a great recording overall.
"Find Out Who Your Friends Are" by Tracy Lawrence. I thought it was boring the first few times I heard it, but I ultimately decided it's bright, sunny, and uplifting, in a way that minimizes artificial sweetness. A lot of listeners will be more familiar with the version that features Tim McGraw and Kenny Chesney, but they sort of put the song over the top, and their styles actually sort of detract from the song, clashing with Lawrence's delivery slightly. I'll take the solo version any day. (Interestingly, this song apparently holds the record for slowest climb to #1 on the country charts, taking 41 weeks to get there.)
Anything by Little Big Town. Earlier this year, I got into a bizarrely heated argument with a DJ over whether this group was country's answer to Fleetwood Mac or to ABBA. (I was saying Fleetwood Mac.) Either way, the parallels aren't as absurd as they might seem: catchy yet meaningful music, and harmonies that are unrivaled. One thing I'm glad about CMT is that they are faithful Little Big Town devotees, and no doubt this pushes radio on, even though neither "Good As Gone" nor "A Little More You" made the top 10. "Good As Gone" is so aggressive in its guitar intro that you sort of can't turn away once it's taken hold. I'm still not fully sold on their newest single "I'm With The Band", but I still am paying close attention to what they're doing in the new year.
"Because Of You" by Reba McEntire With Kelly Clarkson. Ok, most of this is a credit to Clarkson, but... WHAT CREDIT. A solo pop hit in its own right, it still stands out with the addition of Reba on lead vocals. Particularly when compared to much of Reba's other work over the past several years, this recording seems especially significant. It's really an artful production, and there really aren't enough good things to say about it: it's sincere, moving, and haunting. And the harmonic match is classic. Good show, ladies.
"If You're Reading This" by Tim McGraw. Ok, so it's a tearjerker, and I really didn't want to like it, but there is a sincerity here, and McGraw's vocal quality (which he wasted on "Last Dollar" and other drivel recently) finally finds a worthy match. I'm not gonna lie. I teared up a few times. I'm mostly over it now, but it says something that this live recording gained such popularity that his record company saw fit to add it to his most recent CD after the fact.
"Startin' With Me" by Jake Owen. Ah, regret. Not nearly enough music deals with it, and I'm a sucker for anything that does (see Keith Urban, below). It takes a lot to say "I suck" and to do it well, and he does it here, and I really didn't see it coming after the hokey prior single "Yee Haw". Plus, it's always fun when my friends react to the line "I had a one night stand with my best friend's baby sister".
Anything by Brad Paisley. Yeah, "Ticks" and "Online" are goofy, but they're great. "Online" does wear thin after awhile, but it's catchy, and I find it nearly impossible not to sing along. And even moreso regarding "Ticks" -- I will belt that shit. Because it rocks. But the gem in his trio of #1 hits is "She's Everything", which also at times borders on cheesy, but for the most part, it's a serene, genuine ballad that puts most other love songs to shame. Mostly because Paisley knows how to make his voice soar. And I cannot WAIT to comment next year on how much I like his current song "Letter To Me". This man has talent. Not that you didn't know that.
"Nothin' Better To Do" by LeAnn Rimes. There's no doubt now that she's all grown up. This is a very sexy song, and she owns it like she did with "Blue" way back when. This really shows artistic growth, and don't you love it when someone just surprises you like that? I mean, I've never disliked her, but now I'm sold. And the energy of the song is like a drug; it picks you up and gets you addicted fast. This truly is one of the very best recordings of the year.
"Settlin'" by Sugarland. Another high-energy standout. When Jennifer Nettles wants to get you moving, she knows just how to do it. Right up there with "Something More," this song really fires you up, and she has just this enviable charisma you've got to respect. Kristian Bush, meanwhile, gets his charisma out in his strings (and in his performances -- if you've seen them in concert or in a video, you know what I mean; the guy is a goofball of energy). It all adds up to an excellent song, another one of my very favorites.
Anything by Carrie Underwood. "Before He Cheats" intrigued me, "Wasted" sold me, and "So Small" sealed the deal. I'm not a regular watcher of American Idol, but every time I saw her on it, I knew she was headed somewhere. It wasn't until these three songs, though, that I really saw it. Both "Wasted" and "So Small" have a great vocal power and poignant lyrics, and "Wasted" is a great two-step besides. It'll be interesting to see how long she can stay on top, but even if it's not that long, she's recorded some classics right here.
Anything by Keith Urban. When this man is on, he's really on. "Stupid Boy" might be my favorite song of the year. Like "Startin' With Me" above, it's a tale of regret, and Urban doesn't pull any punches here. By the time you get to the end of the full six-minute version, you have experienced a man who is despondent, who is loudly and powerfully despondent. Rarely in country do you hear such raw expression of anger, and it just stands out and hits you and leaves a mark. "I Told You So", meanwhile, may not be quite the powerhouse, but it's also got that uptempo energy like "Better Life" or "Who Wouldn't Wanna Be Me", and I just love the way this boy can scream and still be in key. Excellent work.
"Fall" by Clay Walker. Another sleeper hit, and I wasn't sold on it at first. Like the song's own rise to popularity, it's slow and calculated, up and down, but ultimately it wins. Walker's got an appealing voice, and it's nice that he's doing something good with it; a lot of his recordings of the past several years have lacked spark or have been downright cheesy. But "Fall" is sort of that slow, calm oasis that radio must've needed at the end of the year.
"Last Train Running" by Whiskey Falls. There's harmony, and then there's HARMONY. This is the kind of harmony that makes Rascal Flatts say, "Damn!" And the song manages to be somber without being depressing; indeed, the question of avoiding hell almost seems uplifting in the delivery of the song. This is easily the most underrated recording of the year.
"I Just Came Back From A War" by Darryl Worley. In my head, Worley is best known for that abysmally insipid "Have You Forgotten?" hawkish claptrap. (I'll have to post about that another time, because... just... GAH.) So when I encountered this title, I was deeply suspicious. Imagine my surprise when I heard a mature, politics-free lament on how life changes for a veteran when he returns. It's simple; it doesn't provide answers; it's not saccharine; it's not even manipulative. It's just sort of out there, sighing into its beer, saying, "Yup." I was really, really impressed by this song. The cherry on the sundae is the video which features different actors playing soldiers, including men and women of different colors. Deftly done.
"Heaven, Heartache And The Power Of Love" by Trisha Yearwood. You know, I just can't get this song to make sense, but I don't care. She is positively screaming the gospel of somethingerother, and I am a convert. To whatever that thing is. I mean, really, when she puts that much soul into it, you gotta just go with it.
"Long Trip Alone" by Dierks Bentley. I really like Dierks Bentley, and this is so far my favorite track from his most recent CD. There's a loneliness in his very voice that makes a perfect match for the words and the pacing (although the video confuses me). Richly deserving of the Grammy nominations it's getting.
"More Than A Memory" by Garth Brooks. I'm going to come right out and say it: I am not Garth Brooks's biggest fan. Nevertheless, this song is haunting, and it's really something to which I think most of us can relate. Radio stations agreed, making it the only song ever to debut at #1 on Billboard's country singles chart, a near-impossible feat, considering the chart is determined entirely on radio airplay. It might not be the best recording of the year, but it was well worth waiting for.
"Good Directions" by Billy Currington. I'm glad there was no video for this song (that I know of), because it really would have been distracting from the fun and vivid picture that the lyrics tell. I seriously always want to throw my hat when I hear "I threw my hat and thought, 'You fool', this could've been love". Currington is really good at being both sultry and playful. Thank God for turnip greens, indeed.
Anything by Pat Green. How Pat Green has eluded having a top 10 hit since "Wave On Wave" is one of the world's greatest mysteries. Between "Dixie Lullaby" and "Way Back Texas," he does heartland in a refreshing way that seems earnest without seeming forced. "Show, don't tell" is a motto that serves a lot of folks in the arts, and when Green sings, I believe it.
Anything by Jack Ingram. Maybe it's just the Texas sound (see Pat Green, above), but Jack Ingram also rings true. His voice and style are also appealing and are almost equally rock and country. When I first heard last year's #1 hit "Wherever You Are," I found myself wondering exactly how country it was, actually. Indeed, his hit from the first half of this year, "Lips Of An Angel", was also done by the rock group Hinder, and it's a strong song lyrically. (Ingram's version sounds much more meaningful.) I didn't like "Measure Of A Man" when I first heard it, but upon repeated plays, I have come to appreciate it much more, the reunion of an estranged father and son, poignant and bittersweet. Ingram is one to continue to watch.
"High Maintenance Woman" by Toby Keith. Toby is a man of many faces, but his silly face is one of his most appealing. Upon seeing the title for the first time, I felt a bit of pre-emptive dread, but once I learned that the hook of the song was "A high maintenance woman don't want no maintenance man," I was sold. I also like the meaningless noises he puts in, like the "hup!" at the beginning and the "nawwwwww" at the very end. That "nawwwwww" is possibly my favorite thing to sing along to these days.
"Missing You" by Alison Krauss/John Waite. Well, it's sort of extraneous, this recording, but it's still a pleasant listen. I mean, when is it unpleasant to hear Krauss's voice? At the very least, it reminds you what a nice song it is. It really should've been a bigger hit.
"Famous In A Small Town" by Miranda Lambert. Ain't it the truth. Someone else who knows how to talk about the boondocks without it sounding fake. Her voice, almost sour, almost tart, slides over this song with her characteristic energy. Yeah, she's a young thing, but she knows what she's doing, for sure. (As I pointed out before -- take note, Taylor Swift.) What's neat is the song's slow start and gradual build, and both the music and the lyrics follow this pattern. It's just a great recording overall.
"Find Out Who Your Friends Are" by Tracy Lawrence. I thought it was boring the first few times I heard it, but I ultimately decided it's bright, sunny, and uplifting, in a way that minimizes artificial sweetness. A lot of listeners will be more familiar with the version that features Tim McGraw and Kenny Chesney, but they sort of put the song over the top, and their styles actually sort of detract from the song, clashing with Lawrence's delivery slightly. I'll take the solo version any day. (Interestingly, this song apparently holds the record for slowest climb to #1 on the country charts, taking 41 weeks to get there.)
Anything by Little Big Town. Earlier this year, I got into a bizarrely heated argument with a DJ over whether this group was country's answer to Fleetwood Mac or to ABBA. (I was saying Fleetwood Mac.) Either way, the parallels aren't as absurd as they might seem: catchy yet meaningful music, and harmonies that are unrivaled. One thing I'm glad about CMT is that they are faithful Little Big Town devotees, and no doubt this pushes radio on, even though neither "Good As Gone" nor "A Little More You" made the top 10. "Good As Gone" is so aggressive in its guitar intro that you sort of can't turn away once it's taken hold. I'm still not fully sold on their newest single "I'm With The Band", but I still am paying close attention to what they're doing in the new year.
"Because Of You" by Reba McEntire With Kelly Clarkson. Ok, most of this is a credit to Clarkson, but... WHAT CREDIT. A solo pop hit in its own right, it still stands out with the addition of Reba on lead vocals. Particularly when compared to much of Reba's other work over the past several years, this recording seems especially significant. It's really an artful production, and there really aren't enough good things to say about it: it's sincere, moving, and haunting. And the harmonic match is classic. Good show, ladies.
"If You're Reading This" by Tim McGraw. Ok, so it's a tearjerker, and I really didn't want to like it, but there is a sincerity here, and McGraw's vocal quality (which he wasted on "Last Dollar" and other drivel recently) finally finds a worthy match. I'm not gonna lie. I teared up a few times. I'm mostly over it now, but it says something that this live recording gained such popularity that his record company saw fit to add it to his most recent CD after the fact.
"Startin' With Me" by Jake Owen. Ah, regret. Not nearly enough music deals with it, and I'm a sucker for anything that does (see Keith Urban, below). It takes a lot to say "I suck" and to do it well, and he does it here, and I really didn't see it coming after the hokey prior single "Yee Haw". Plus, it's always fun when my friends react to the line "I had a one night stand with my best friend's baby sister".
Anything by Brad Paisley. Yeah, "Ticks" and "Online" are goofy, but they're great. "Online" does wear thin after awhile, but it's catchy, and I find it nearly impossible not to sing along. And even moreso regarding "Ticks" -- I will belt that shit. Because it rocks. But the gem in his trio of #1 hits is "She's Everything", which also at times borders on cheesy, but for the most part, it's a serene, genuine ballad that puts most other love songs to shame. Mostly because Paisley knows how to make his voice soar. And I cannot WAIT to comment next year on how much I like his current song "Letter To Me". This man has talent. Not that you didn't know that.
"Nothin' Better To Do" by LeAnn Rimes. There's no doubt now that she's all grown up. This is a very sexy song, and she owns it like she did with "Blue" way back when. This really shows artistic growth, and don't you love it when someone just surprises you like that? I mean, I've never disliked her, but now I'm sold. And the energy of the song is like a drug; it picks you up and gets you addicted fast. This truly is one of the very best recordings of the year.
"Settlin'" by Sugarland. Another high-energy standout. When Jennifer Nettles wants to get you moving, she knows just how to do it. Right up there with "Something More," this song really fires you up, and she has just this enviable charisma you've got to respect. Kristian Bush, meanwhile, gets his charisma out in his strings (and in his performances -- if you've seen them in concert or in a video, you know what I mean; the guy is a goofball of energy). It all adds up to an excellent song, another one of my very favorites.
Anything by Carrie Underwood. "Before He Cheats" intrigued me, "Wasted" sold me, and "So Small" sealed the deal. I'm not a regular watcher of American Idol, but every time I saw her on it, I knew she was headed somewhere. It wasn't until these three songs, though, that I really saw it. Both "Wasted" and "So Small" have a great vocal power and poignant lyrics, and "Wasted" is a great two-step besides. It'll be interesting to see how long she can stay on top, but even if it's not that long, she's recorded some classics right here.
Anything by Keith Urban. When this man is on, he's really on. "Stupid Boy" might be my favorite song of the year. Like "Startin' With Me" above, it's a tale of regret, and Urban doesn't pull any punches here. By the time you get to the end of the full six-minute version, you have experienced a man who is despondent, who is loudly and powerfully despondent. Rarely in country do you hear such raw expression of anger, and it just stands out and hits you and leaves a mark. "I Told You So", meanwhile, may not be quite the powerhouse, but it's also got that uptempo energy like "Better Life" or "Who Wouldn't Wanna Be Me", and I just love the way this boy can scream and still be in key. Excellent work.
"Fall" by Clay Walker. Another sleeper hit, and I wasn't sold on it at first. Like the song's own rise to popularity, it's slow and calculated, up and down, but ultimately it wins. Walker's got an appealing voice, and it's nice that he's doing something good with it; a lot of his recordings of the past several years have lacked spark or have been downright cheesy. But "Fall" is sort of that slow, calm oasis that radio must've needed at the end of the year.
"Last Train Running" by Whiskey Falls. There's harmony, and then there's HARMONY. This is the kind of harmony that makes Rascal Flatts say, "Damn!" And the song manages to be somber without being depressing; indeed, the question of avoiding hell almost seems uplifting in the delivery of the song. This is easily the most underrated recording of the year.
"I Just Came Back From A War" by Darryl Worley. In my head, Worley is best known for that abysmally insipid "Have You Forgotten?" hawkish claptrap. (I'll have to post about that another time, because... just... GAH.) So when I encountered this title, I was deeply suspicious. Imagine my surprise when I heard a mature, politics-free lament on how life changes for a veteran when he returns. It's simple; it doesn't provide answers; it's not saccharine; it's not even manipulative. It's just sort of out there, sighing into its beer, saying, "Yup." I was really, really impressed by this song. The cherry on the sundae is the video which features different actors playing soldiers, including men and women of different colors. Deftly done.
"Heaven, Heartache And The Power Of Love" by Trisha Yearwood. You know, I just can't get this song to make sense, but I don't care. She is positively screaming the gospel of somethingerother, and I am a convert. To whatever that thing is. I mean, really, when she puts that much soul into it, you gotta just go with it.
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Not in my backyard
Local station KIIM-FM has been hyping this Chris Cagle concert for a while. And after the concert? Not a mention of it. Wonder if this has anything to do with it.
Monday, December 17, 2007
Some sucky things from 2007
Here are some of the recordings that disappointed me the most this past year.
"Sunday Morning In America" by Keith Anderson. This song needs a big "shut up" plastered all over it. I just gave it another listen to point out specific things about it, but other than "megachurch", "eggs and bacon", and "cheerleaders", I think my brain just refused to process it. It's nearly amelodic, and... I don't know. Kind of a misstep. Is he never going to have another "Every Time I Hear Your Name"? Sigh.
"Watching You" by Rodney Atkins. Every time the introduction comes on, I get hopeful, like, "Oh, I know this song! It's... ! It's... ! It's ... oh. Crap. I hate this song." Well, your boy curses, and you shouldn't do it in front of him. Isn't that adorable? No, it's not. It's cliché and lame. "I'm your buckeroo... [and] eat all my food"? Your son wants to eat his food like you? That's a bit much. Also, get a new baseball cap.
"Lost In This Moment" by Big & Rich. Yet another reason to dislike weddings. If I ever have to go to a wedding where someone has chosen this song as his or her wedding song, I will immediately break off ties with that person. It's just so typical that Big & Rich create such offbeat music, normally (not necessarily "good", but certainly atypical), and here comes this throwaway piece of fluff, and it becomes their first Top 10 hit. Yawn.
"Proud Of The House We Built" by Brooks & Dunn. It's a lot more fun if you imagine it as a retelling of the Three Little Pigs story. This is the kind of song Lonestar would record. Boo.
"Alyssa Lies" by Jason Michael Carroll. Are we just supposed to be sad? What are we supposed to do? Is this to draw awareness to the problem of child abuse? So we can stop it? What do you want us to do, Jason Michael Carroll? Also, you look like the guy from Hanson. You know the one. Also again, how old are you? I'm so sure you have a daughter in first grade. This song is terrible.
"Guys Like Me" by Eric Church. This is basically the same song as "How 'Bout You," except stupid. Not that "How 'Bout You" wasn't stupid. Just less so, and sort of rockin'. But Eric Church, who looks like a bird, has apparently decided that he is going to take on the cause of how awesome it is to be hard workin' and blue collar and yadda yadda yadda, and I'm so happy someone said it, because I really feel like that's what's been missing in country music, don't you? Also, you'll be happy to know that, according to the lyrics, even rich girls like guys like Eric Church. It's a comfort to us all.
"A Different World" by Bucky Covington. Ok. OK. Bucky Covington seems to think it's okay to implicitly promote the idea of not wearing bicycle helmets or using seat belts. Because, you know, when he grew up -- which, incidentally, I'm guessing is after I grew up, so I don't really know what he's talking about -- folks didn't need that, and he turned out ok. Which sort of proves the point. Wear your helmet, or you'll also become an untalented singer who lost on American Idol. Good job, loser.
"Moments" by Emerson Drive. Protagonists bonds with homeless man, and neither of them kills himself. Or something. Yay, way to go not dying at your own hand! I'm not sure if we're supposed to be moved, or impressed, or what, but frankly, I'm bored.
Anything by Faith Hill. Yeah, I'm thinking she's done. Between "Lost" and "Red Umbrella" and her just bizarre duet with her husband (more on that later), she is entirely unexciting and sparkless this year. The only glimmer of hope was her inspired recording of "Stealing Kisses," which still flopped. (Too smart for radio?) I think people just don't know what to do with her anymore. She and Shania should team up for a Vegas show or something.
"A Woman's Love" by Alan Jackson. Ol' Alan seems to be softening up and getting... boring and old. I feel like this song has been done a million times before, and... it has.
"Love Me If You Can" by Toby Keith. I can't. Was this song written by Rush Limbaugh? "I hand out my dollars to the homeless [LIE!] / But believe that every able soul should work." Well, I hope that inspires people, there, Tobe. "I stand by my right to speak freely / But I worry 'bout what kids see on TV." You know, like, someone else's right to speak freely. And as though the verses weren't bad enough, the chorus just borders on nonsense. "Love me if you can"? Like, if we can find it in our hearts? Like Jesus would? What a freak.
"Anyway" by Martina McBride. The song's title reflects exactly how I feel about the song. The chorus begins, "God is great [!!! crescendo] / But sometimes life ain't good", and... oh, brother. That's just poor. I just want to know at what point she decided, "You know what? I'm tired of recording meaningful music. Do you have any drivel? That's what I really want to do." And the piano in the beginning doesn't rip off "Imagine" at all.
"Last Dollar (Fly Away)" by Tim McGraw. Ok. Now this song just doesn't make any sense. "My friends are always giving me watches, hats, and wine"? Like, what? Like, WHAT? Your friends give you hats? And then there's the business of his kids singing at the end of the record. No. That's even worse than in a live recording when they let the audience sing. Far, far worse. Almost as bad as this was...
"I Need You" by Tim McGraw and Faith Hill. Is this song going for subversive on purpose? "I need you like a needle needs a vein" is... well, it's odd. It's sort of punk. (Also, isn't it moreso that a vein needs a needle?) Then, those lyrics are combined with the remarkably more pedestrian "like my Uncle Joe in Oklahoma needs the rain." (Maybe Joe is a rain junkie. Or, going with the other odd comparison, maybe rain is a Joe junkie.) The best part is that, in the video, Faith Hill stares at her man like ... it's indescribable, really. She's got sort of raccoon eyes of vapidity. Maybe a needle needs a vein.
"Take Me There" by Rascal Flatts. This is beneath them. It's like someone wrote a song and said, "Hey! This is like a bad Rascal Flatts song! Let's send it to them." And the rest is ahistory. The line that slays me: "Tell me 'bout your mama / your daddy / your hometown / show me around." I always want him to rhyme "daddy" with "Cincinnati". You know, "your home town / Cincinnati". That would be much better, I think. And Joe Don's singing (it is Joe Don, isn't it? No, it's Gary. Ok, then, Gary), I mean, Gary's singing is a little showy. You know, like Mariah Carey's singing is a little showy. Relax, boys.
"Everyday America" by Sugarland. It's almost the same song as that Keith Anderson monstrosity I mentioned before. Or, it's sort of like, a cut that didn't make Springsteen's "Born In The U.S.A." album. Or, it's just bad. "Little town and a great big life," fine, but that doesn't mean it's interesting. Let Mellencamp be Mellencamp; won't you? Thanks.
Anything by Taylor Swift. I don't care of she's country's it girl. She's a girl. A little girl. And I know that sounds really dick, but... well, let's see. There's Miranda Lambert. She's very young and pretty, and she knows something about substance. I'm not impressed that Ms. Swift writes her own songs, because they're not good. Let's take "Teardrops On My Guitar", first and foremost. I feel bad for that Drew character, because she has to say his stupid name, what, eight hundred times in the name of the song? And, I'm sorry, when I envision her breaking down and dealing with this boy not loving her, I'm not envisioning there being guitars involved. I'm thinking more like ice cream. Or stuffed animals. That's part of the problem here. I'm not buying her as an artist, and I feel like they're trying to sell her like an artist. And the video for "Teardrops On My Guitar" is ridiculous. This will be chronicled separately.
"Me And God" by Josh Turner. The song is called "Me And God". You do the math. Do I have to spell it out for you?
Anything by Phil Vassar. Oh, Phil Vassar. It's amazing how you can write so many songs that are the EXACT SAME FUCKING SONG.
Anything by Gretchen Wilson. And your short career is over... now. We're just not buying it anymore. Uh, literally or figuratively.
"Sunday Morning In America" by Keith Anderson. This song needs a big "shut up" plastered all over it. I just gave it another listen to point out specific things about it, but other than "megachurch", "eggs and bacon", and "cheerleaders", I think my brain just refused to process it. It's nearly amelodic, and... I don't know. Kind of a misstep. Is he never going to have another "Every Time I Hear Your Name"? Sigh.
"Watching You" by Rodney Atkins. Every time the introduction comes on, I get hopeful, like, "Oh, I know this song! It's... ! It's... ! It's ... oh. Crap. I hate this song." Well, your boy curses, and you shouldn't do it in front of him. Isn't that adorable? No, it's not. It's cliché and lame. "I'm your buckeroo... [and] eat all my food"? Your son wants to eat his food like you? That's a bit much. Also, get a new baseball cap.
"Lost In This Moment" by Big & Rich. Yet another reason to dislike weddings. If I ever have to go to a wedding where someone has chosen this song as his or her wedding song, I will immediately break off ties with that person. It's just so typical that Big & Rich create such offbeat music, normally (not necessarily "good", but certainly atypical), and here comes this throwaway piece of fluff, and it becomes their first Top 10 hit. Yawn.
"Proud Of The House We Built" by Brooks & Dunn. It's a lot more fun if you imagine it as a retelling of the Three Little Pigs story. This is the kind of song Lonestar would record. Boo.
"Alyssa Lies" by Jason Michael Carroll. Are we just supposed to be sad? What are we supposed to do? Is this to draw awareness to the problem of child abuse? So we can stop it? What do you want us to do, Jason Michael Carroll? Also, you look like the guy from Hanson. You know the one. Also again, how old are you? I'm so sure you have a daughter in first grade. This song is terrible.
"Guys Like Me" by Eric Church. This is basically the same song as "How 'Bout You," except stupid. Not that "How 'Bout You" wasn't stupid. Just less so, and sort of rockin'. But Eric Church, who looks like a bird, has apparently decided that he is going to take on the cause of how awesome it is to be hard workin' and blue collar and yadda yadda yadda, and I'm so happy someone said it, because I really feel like that's what's been missing in country music, don't you? Also, you'll be happy to know that, according to the lyrics, even rich girls like guys like Eric Church. It's a comfort to us all.
"A Different World" by Bucky Covington. Ok. OK. Bucky Covington seems to think it's okay to implicitly promote the idea of not wearing bicycle helmets or using seat belts. Because, you know, when he grew up -- which, incidentally, I'm guessing is after I grew up, so I don't really know what he's talking about -- folks didn't need that, and he turned out ok. Which sort of proves the point. Wear your helmet, or you'll also become an untalented singer who lost on American Idol. Good job, loser.
"Moments" by Emerson Drive. Protagonists bonds with homeless man, and neither of them kills himself. Or something. Yay, way to go not dying at your own hand! I'm not sure if we're supposed to be moved, or impressed, or what, but frankly, I'm bored.
Anything by Faith Hill. Yeah, I'm thinking she's done. Between "Lost" and "Red Umbrella" and her just bizarre duet with her husband (more on that later), she is entirely unexciting and sparkless this year. The only glimmer of hope was her inspired recording of "Stealing Kisses," which still flopped. (Too smart for radio?) I think people just don't know what to do with her anymore. She and Shania should team up for a Vegas show or something.
"A Woman's Love" by Alan Jackson. Ol' Alan seems to be softening up and getting... boring and old. I feel like this song has been done a million times before, and... it has.
"Love Me If You Can" by Toby Keith. I can't. Was this song written by Rush Limbaugh? "I hand out my dollars to the homeless [LIE!] / But believe that every able soul should work." Well, I hope that inspires people, there, Tobe. "I stand by my right to speak freely / But I worry 'bout what kids see on TV." You know, like, someone else's right to speak freely. And as though the verses weren't bad enough, the chorus just borders on nonsense. "Love me if you can"? Like, if we can find it in our hearts? Like Jesus would? What a freak.
"Anyway" by Martina McBride. The song's title reflects exactly how I feel about the song. The chorus begins, "God is great [!!! crescendo] / But sometimes life ain't good", and... oh, brother. That's just poor. I just want to know at what point she decided, "You know what? I'm tired of recording meaningful music. Do you have any drivel? That's what I really want to do." And the piano in the beginning doesn't rip off "Imagine" at all.
"Last Dollar (Fly Away)" by Tim McGraw. Ok. Now this song just doesn't make any sense. "My friends are always giving me watches, hats, and wine"? Like, what? Like, WHAT? Your friends give you hats? And then there's the business of his kids singing at the end of the record. No. That's even worse than in a live recording when they let the audience sing. Far, far worse. Almost as bad as this was...
"I Need You" by Tim McGraw and Faith Hill. Is this song going for subversive on purpose? "I need you like a needle needs a vein" is... well, it's odd. It's sort of punk. (Also, isn't it moreso that a vein needs a needle?) Then, those lyrics are combined with the remarkably more pedestrian "like my Uncle Joe in Oklahoma needs the rain." (Maybe Joe is a rain junkie. Or, going with the other odd comparison, maybe rain is a Joe junkie.) The best part is that, in the video, Faith Hill stares at her man like ... it's indescribable, really. She's got sort of raccoon eyes of vapidity. Maybe a needle needs a vein.
"Take Me There" by Rascal Flatts. This is beneath them. It's like someone wrote a song and said, "Hey! This is like a bad Rascal Flatts song! Let's send it to them." And the rest is ahistory. The line that slays me: "Tell me 'bout your mama / your daddy / your hometown / show me around." I always want him to rhyme "daddy" with "Cincinnati". You know, "your home town / Cincinnati". That would be much better, I think. And Joe Don's singing (it is Joe Don, isn't it? No, it's Gary. Ok, then, Gary), I mean, Gary's singing is a little showy. You know, like Mariah Carey's singing is a little showy. Relax, boys.
"Everyday America" by Sugarland. It's almost the same song as that Keith Anderson monstrosity I mentioned before. Or, it's sort of like, a cut that didn't make Springsteen's "Born In The U.S.A." album. Or, it's just bad. "Little town and a great big life," fine, but that doesn't mean it's interesting. Let Mellencamp be Mellencamp; won't you? Thanks.
Anything by Taylor Swift. I don't care of she's country's it girl. She's a girl. A little girl. And I know that sounds really dick, but... well, let's see. There's Miranda Lambert. She's very young and pretty, and she knows something about substance. I'm not impressed that Ms. Swift writes her own songs, because they're not good. Let's take "Teardrops On My Guitar", first and foremost. I feel bad for that Drew character, because she has to say his stupid name, what, eight hundred times in the name of the song? And, I'm sorry, when I envision her breaking down and dealing with this boy not loving her, I'm not envisioning there being guitars involved. I'm thinking more like ice cream. Or stuffed animals. That's part of the problem here. I'm not buying her as an artist, and I feel like they're trying to sell her like an artist. And the video for "Teardrops On My Guitar" is ridiculous. This will be chronicled separately.
"Me And God" by Josh Turner. The song is called "Me And God". You do the math. Do I have to spell it out for you?
Anything by Phil Vassar. Oh, Phil Vassar. It's amazing how you can write so many songs that are the EXACT SAME FUCKING SONG.
Anything by Gretchen Wilson. And your short career is over... now. We're just not buying it anymore. Uh, literally or figuratively.
New music
The next single from Kenny Chesney's "(I forgot the full name of the album but it has something to do with)... Pirates..." collection is sort of fun. It wouldn't be Chesney without a reference to tropical places, but the chorus is catchy and fun: "seven to three / three to eleven / [pause] / eleven to seven." It's sort of tacky to use "shiftwork" in place of the word "shit" -- "A big ol' pile of shiftwork"? -- but that can be forgiven. The video, on the other hand, gratuitously features scantily clad car washing honeys and a driver who looks more overwhelmed than aroused. Also, supposedly, the song features George Strait, but it's sort of hard to catch. Also, much like I feel about "She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy", when was this multimillionaire last involved in shift work? It sort of rings insincere.
At any rate, I am going on the record saying that I am no fan of Chesney's, but this song is easily one of his best, in my opinion. It's really a lot of fun.
At any rate, I am going on the record saying that I am no fan of Chesney's, but this song is easily one of his best, in my opinion. It's really a lot of fun.
Sunday, December 16, 2007
Chart detail
Next week's Billboard chart:
Taylor Swift jumps to #1 from #6. That's the biggest jump I've ever seen; no song since 2000 has jumped from lower than #5. I'm assuming the top 10 are all really close in plays, considering Carrie Underwood falls all the way to #10, which is another unprecedented move (well, since I've been keeping track). I also noticed that the charts have been so male-dominated that this is the first time since early 1999 that one solo female recording artist has replaced another at #1 ("Stand Beside Me" by Jo Dee Messina replacing "Wrong Again" by Martina McBride in January of that year).
Also, I'm sorry, but Taylor Swift has yet to record anything of merit. I actually think "Tim McGraw" is her best song, and that sort of borders on novelty recording. Anyway, "Our Song" is just kind of pathetic. Not to be unnecessarily mean, but it really does sound like someone in high school recorded it. Which, you know... OBVIOUSLY, but that doesn't mean the rest of the country should be falling for it. The CMA Horizon award and everything? Yikes. How pathetic. Just my thoughts.
Taylor Swift jumps to #1 from #6. That's the biggest jump I've ever seen; no song since 2000 has jumped from lower than #5. I'm assuming the top 10 are all really close in plays, considering Carrie Underwood falls all the way to #10, which is another unprecedented move (well, since I've been keeping track). I also noticed that the charts have been so male-dominated that this is the first time since early 1999 that one solo female recording artist has replaced another at #1 ("Stand Beside Me" by Jo Dee Messina replacing "Wrong Again" by Martina McBride in January of that year).
Also, I'm sorry, but Taylor Swift has yet to record anything of merit. I actually think "Tim McGraw" is her best song, and that sort of borders on novelty recording. Anyway, "Our Song" is just kind of pathetic. Not to be unnecessarily mean, but it really does sound like someone in high school recorded it. Which, you know... OBVIOUSLY, but that doesn't mean the rest of the country should be falling for it. The CMA Horizon award and everything? Yikes. How pathetic. Just my thoughts.
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